people

you know...i've been thinking the longest about this matter
about why are there so many different kinds of people? why are there so many complicated emotions and feelings which exist and why do different people behave differently?

for the purpose of this entry i will highlight this category of individuals:

• weird (not behaving like the rest of the ppl around him)

i should say that there are a hand full of individuals around me who behave differently from the rest of the people. i don't personally call them weird because i feel that they are just different due certain circumstances or reasons.

i deem every individual who come out into this world new (as a baby) of common ground. i draw the parallel between a dough newly knead before it is made into bread as a young-born. As this child is growing up, he goes through different experiences which shape the bread and give it its flavour.

varying experiences include:

• family upbringing (poor/rich, strict/lenient, single-parent/both-parents)
• differing peers' behaviours hence shaping one's manner of thinking. (peers differ in behavior also due to family upbringing and they meet finally at school or at a gathering (church etc.) hence affecting one another.)

although we are made of the same dough, some doughs are hard, some are soft, some require extra kneading, some less, implying that because we obtain different genes from our parents, some of us are shorter, taller, naturally on the plump side, hence this upsets the balance of common ground once genes start to take to effect or become more obvious.

This perhaps is another reason why we grow up with differing behaviours as a result of perhaps mental torment (bullying, mocking, verbal abuse). Our dough is shaped by the vastly contrasting experiences and hence we turn out differently.

However, what i am trying to say here is that: some of us call others weird. they seem to keep to themselves, not fit into conversations, remarks which they make seem redundant and out of place...and do other stuff which i cannot think of which make others call these people weird.

some of us dont like these people, others mock at them, talk about them behind their backs.

i feel that everybody grows up differently, and they have a reason behind behaving this way. instead of encouraging them, helping them, we shun them, push them away, into their dark corner.

remember those conversations where 'he' came to sit in your group of friends? trying to catch a word or two and make his contributions to the conversation? he always said something wrong, or out of point, making everyone feel uncomfortable and irritable? when ever there was a game and 'he' participated, he seem to think of those ridiculus methods to get around the game, or try to help but instead made matters worse? dont we start to think 'how do we get rid of such a person?' and we move away from 'him', leaving him all alone.

YET

how is it possible to befriend someone like that? 'he' always puts you in a very difficult position, 'he' always seems to drag you 'reputation down' what if 'he's' someone ppl would call a 'loser'? then again, is it because the friends around you are not 'loser' therefore you are friends with them? meaning if ever they became somewhat an outcast, a 'loser', you'll stop befriending those friends around you? what kind of friend then are you?

there is a boy once who grew up like every other kid in the block, or so everyone thought so. however, his parents brought him up differently. when ever he was allowed to go out, it was only with his parents. when ever he met his friends, his parents would be there to supervise. so he had no friends, because whenever these friends decide to say something or do something together, his parents always seemed to object. life was difficult for him as a child. when he grew up a little into a boy attending school, he lacked the skills of communication with his peers as well as relating to other people. his peers deemed him weird. some of his peers mocked at his behaviour, some even beat him because they couldnt understand the difference in this boy. this boy was a sad sad boy

when he grew up a little more, he entered secondary school. he thought that he could start afresh, start anew since there were nobody who knew him from his old school. however, by then, the boy was very reserved, kept to himself, in fear of ppl mocking at him. every word he said he was cautious, hence he ended up hardly saying anything. when a new classmate decided to ask this boy out, this boy rejected, afraid that someone would find out.

after a while, this boy decided that it was time to get out of his shell for a bit of light. he plonked himself into social circles that have already been strengthened within the first few months. he was too late. everywhere he went he was pushed out of the circles. whenever he managed to catch someone's attention, he would be so overwhelmed that he overwhelmed that someone and left a bad impression. soon, the cycle was completed and his label stuck to him.

2nd time defeated, he sticks his head back into his shell and goes into hiding. everything he does he seem defeated, negative. 'i cannot do it', 'he's better than me', 'why did you suddenly ask me out?' and 'if i suddenly disappeared would anyone notice that? no, of course they wouldnt'.

whose fault is it? his parents? (whose parents brought them up that way?) his peers? society's? his own? whose fault is it?

how can we help such people? how long should we try? what if you try and others dont, hence not improving the situation?

life is difficult to live and think about

we are all made of dough, our doughs are shaped by different hands, and hence our vast contrasting pletora of unique individuals. once the bread is baked, we are more or less permanently that shape, that flavour. if we take a bite out of the bread, leaving a hole, an emptiness, would a different dough fit the hole and still taste the same?

in the same way, if someone's dough had been shaped and baked wrongly, how hard is it to 'unbake' the bread and reshape it? would effort and heart be enough to do it?

sigh

another meaningless ranting...oh wells.