what i am to do with my life at the present...and in the future

with slightly less than 6 months to go at the place i have been at for more than 1 and a half years...i really need to start considering what i am to do after it all ends.

considering my university - fudan university, les roche hospitality school (switzerland), or smuBIZ.

i just returned from shanghai a few days ago. it wasnt exactly a blast...but it was fun all the same. and from the trip, i realized three important things. the first was that i was...and am still a good boy =P. the second was that i realized how powerful china is at the moment...and how huge a potential it has in terms of economic and social development. the third (is sort of linked to the second realization) was that i realized the importance of chinese! ever since young, i havnt really appreciated the language. in fact, i dreaded studying it. because of my dislike for the language, i didnt do too well @ school...and had to attend many tuition classes on the subject. in fact, for nearly 10 years...the only tuition class that i ever attended was CHINESE tuition...and i probably went to more than 10 different teachers/classes outside in search for the best chinese class. dont get me wrong, those tuition classes never went to waste. i did make it into EM1 when the time came...and studied 高级华文(higher chinese) from p5 all the way to secondary 3. i dropped it in secondary 4 when i realized it did not matter whether i took the eventual O's exam in sec4 since i was doing IB already. but yes...it was a struggle all the way for my chinese learning curve and i was somewhat relieved when it was all over.

well but now upon returning from shanghai, changzhou...the passion to learn or at least beef up my chinese is fired up. haha for once i actually want to learn chinese! i felt quite bad for myself when i couldnt speak perfect chinese to the locals when i was there. a tad bit embarrassing and annoying, in fact. but as to how to go about improving my chinese...i dont really know how. for now, i shall start messaging in chinese...muahaha. i changed my interface to chinese as well! for those who read this blog and do receive my messages from time to time...please feel free to correct my chinese and help me! AND i've decided to speak chinese whenever i can. BLEGH i dont think this passion/drive will last very long...probably JUST another phase...but i'll 拖延 as long as i can and see how far i go.

which brings me back to my application for fudan university. i think it would be fun going over to study there...improve my chinese, get an overseas education...and study the subjects that i actually do want to study...public policy, international relations etc. my parents will even support my education there...because the cost isnt that far from that of studying in singapore. AND i think i'll become very relevant for the future as chinese blooms and the world is forced to communicate with them increasingly. HOWEVER, i do have a barrier, which is to pass the hua yi shui ping kao shi level 6. i got no idea how pass it provided i actually set aside time to study for it. and applications for the university end in july/august. which means that time IS running out. BOO. i want to study there but i think in some way i want the easy way out as well. what a bum i am.

as for the swiss university - les roche, i think its actually quite suitable for me. hospitality and hotel management, that is. according to my parents, some friends, and myself (yes i do believe it too), my personality and character fits the job. and yes i'll have the overseas education in a european country...AND i'll be doing something different from the rest of my schmates! the other option would be cornell...they have a good similar course program there as well...but i think it would be interesting to study in switzerland. and since young, somehow, i've been hearing that swiss hospitality is NUMBER ONE. 第一名。 哈哈 HOWEVER, a big problem is the cost of study there...which will be approx 150k. there's no way my parents are going to sponsor me to study there, even if they support the idea of me going there to study. i either have to take up a student loan...(which i dont know whether i can or HOW to apply for one in the first place)...or go along with my master plan of getting sponsored there. hehe. basically i will go ahead with the application to les roche first. after getting accepted (IF i do get accepted) i will go around to the different hotels in singapore and bang on their doors asking whether ANY of they are wiling to sponsor my study there and i will promise to work for them once im back in singapore. HAHA. sounds crazy lah...but i am willing to try! or does anyone know any proper channels by which i can apply for sponsorship (hospitality, by hotels)? so yes i cannot afford to be lazy should i actually want to end up in an overseas university this time nxt year. FIGHT!

as for SMU, studying in singapore has been something i have imagined myself doing ever since young. and then going overseas for a masters year. sounds more reasonable...but less adventurous and more towards the norm. not that i mind actually...but im also afraid of the stressss that singapore's education generally GENERATES. its quite silly actually...when i think of it. should i compete with people who have international certs in the future for the same job, our chances of getting the job is somewhat the same (excluding interview, personality etc.)...and maybe theirs would be better, since they have graduated from an overseas university. in that case why should i stress myself up studying in a singapore university? my friends who are currently studying in singapore seem so stressed up and NOT relaxed at all. its not that i havnt been thru the singaporean brand of education...for 12 years i have been through it...and maybe im done with it. we'll see. i'll have to work hard towards applying for elsewhere if i want to escape the sg-edu-sys-vortex. hurhur.

WORK. after i complete my service...i would have approx 3-6 mnths to float around b4 i start on my uni education. i need to find a job that i would enjoy and do something for which time passes very fast everyday. and a job that pays me at least $1400++ to support my spending and at the same time allow me to save some money. but how to go about finding such a job? where are the channels for application? will they pay a temp (6mnths) $1400?? yes that is something that i have to think about during this 6 mnths.

popping! i've completed the course. 结束了。it was FUN and it was a neat skill to pick up. and for those 7-8 tuesday nights, i was doing something OTHER than dota. and i got to catch up a little with an old friend feng ze. the entire thing was really cool. my only regret was that i was unable to dedicate my entire time to practicing (i am still currently playing/training dota for competitions)...which meant that i wasnt really up to the class's standard. quite a number of them had background dancing already...some even picked up the style of dance before the class started. for me, i just wanted to have fun, and do something different! and i think i achieved that! haha. maybe i'll sign up again in the future. for now...my tuesday nights will be freed up. sign up for another course perhaps? another style of dance...or another type of course...singing/chinese class...ahha.

people come and go. its quite frightening sometimes. how your goodbye suddenly becomes the last goodbye...at least for a long long time. the last handshake. the last good hug. and then whooosh...he's/she's gone.

but we can't help it. its not our fault. its not yours.

i think the most important thing is not to have any regrets with regards to these 'passing-by' people. it is inevitable that people enter and exit our lives. eventuality catches up. but we MUST TRY NOT HAVE REGRETS. that way we can let go of them easier, and there would be less of a burden on our minds.




-to be continued- quite a long post and i think i should take a break to prevent long windedness and talking nonsense (not that the post isnt filled with alot of 'them' already =P)