a teacher...[sensitive leh]

ok, you might think that it's a waste of time, but today, i'll be writing about a certain teacher of a certain school

we all know that
we have a teacher in school
that not everybody have something good to say about
that even her own colleagues cannot seem to comprehend her behaviour...

i always listen to her laugh out loud
when everybody else in the hall is silent
her laughter, i will always remember
always so fake, so unreal

but when i look at her face
it is of a geniune hearty laughter
and you can tell that, she really finds that thing funny
she finds a lot of things funny

i would like to say that
although we may all think otherwise
that she is a good teacher -

i would like to say that
she's one of our best

today she told us of a bit of her story
her story, pure at heart, honest, frank
really touched me
it was told of her stuggles in school,
down-to-earth
it was told of how she survived through the years
at this school

you know at times,
she can be - i shouldn't use this word - irritating
irritating chasing us down with our homework
but the fact that she can remember off the cuff
as to exactly who hasnt handed up the work
shows how much she cares about our work
it's OURs i stress
yet she always seems so stressed,
'pass up your homework or else you'll have to write a newspaper report'

but sometimes
i hear about things she say...
i know she really has our interest at heart

indeed she is one of the best
her teaching methods
are fantastic, not always but -
you know she is trying her best to make the subject interesting
with her weird humour she captivates the class
it always seem as if,
there is always youthful energy that can be found within her
to be ever so vibrant
to scold one minute and teach the next minute,
is not easy

i understand that the teachers working with her
have little love for her
in the staff room, sometimes
people have that impression of her
i dont claim to know everything
that happens in the staff room
all i know is that
people dont understand her enough
to be able to work willingly with her

but she is
also, very passionate about the subject she teachers
she always seem to disregard other lessons, other events
happening in school
just for her subject
some may think that she is very unreasonable
but she's just being dedicated
to the subject she teach

i can emphatize with her
that she seems always so alone in the school
since she has, honestly speaking, become
subjected to constant judgment in the staff room
that amongst the student population
there are only a handful of students who can
understand her, comprehend her

it is also the reason
that because of so
she enjoys teaching, joking with us
her precious students
the only 'nice' people that she can relay her feelings
but yet, so many others where
love is found hatred exist for her instead

i would say that
her current attitude and behaviour
is the hardening of character
the result of so many years of treatment from various
individuals
that have made life difficult for her
i really pity it, the situation

it is not her fault
it is OUR fault as a school
we have failed to see this person
through the years of her life in the school
to give her happiness - she finds her own

she says the class is dirty
she picks up the broom and dustpan
when she gives us work to do
and starts to sweep and clean up the classroom
not all teachers would do that

remember 'about the boy'?
an article i wrote about a boy
in my former class and current school
well, her situation in society is no different
she has been
after all this years, hardened by society
it is because of US - the society - the school
that has cause her to be like that

and instead of offering her a helping hand
we ridicule her
make her life difficult
and dislike her even more
is it her fault
no
she is human
like all of us
she appreciates 'thank yous', praises
she hardens to insults, and bad remarks...

i still remember
the time when she told the class she was going overseas
for a while
you can tell in her voice, that she was sad
but not sad because she was leaving us
but sad because, no one would miss her
she said, slightly to herself, which i caught -
'but anyway nobody cares, no one would miss me, they'd rather i go and never come back'
then she said to the class
'i'll go there and buy food for you'll back'