Sunday, June 24, 2007

...

past few weeks and months have been trying. and i must say it hasnt been easy to get through. now at its end i look back at the times of emotional confusion, and i realized how much i had grown, how much i'd learn. and it's good, in many different ways and im glad that all was not in vain.

feelings are precious. the engagement of feelings, not cautiously approached could lead to outcomes which may or may not be desirable.

knowledge is always good. but little knowledge is dangerously potent. use with caution - otherwise don't even try. i always thought little of this. but as it turns out. i was very wrong.

honesty and truth seems to be something that human beings struggle with all the time. it is no one's fault but everybody else's. situations and circumstances we are immersed in often desire certain reactions. however, i realized that it is ultimately up to the individual to decide to choose a different response, not fearing the outcome but believing that what ever that is truth would eventually prevail. but it takes courage. and most of the time, we are weak, as human beings. we deny seeing what we need to see, we lie to ourselves to conceal certain emotions and feelings. let's not anymore...shall we?

memories want to be remembered...but to most people, only if the experiences were pleasant or led to a sufficient level of satisfaction. i choose not to remember selectively, because in every occasion, whether desirable or undesirable, i did learn something new, and somewhere inside of me, something changed, something grew. To deny my memories would be to deny the experiences which have been crucial to my existence.

a lot of times i wished thing didnt happen the way they did. i wished mine and others responses or reactions would be different. but it still proceeds on, life. after all, i can only choose for myself. and that, for me, is one of the more important realization i've come across going through these past few months.



seemingly, i've compressed, somewhat belittled and made trivial everything that has happened. but in typing the above, i've also concluded that i dont really know about how people think, should think, or would think. I also dont know how i think, thought, should think, or should have thought. what i feel now is not something that i could easily write down just in a paragraph or two. i can't say that it is indescribable, but neither could i tell you everything i feel without leaving something out.



but im glad and relieved that everything has happened for a purpose, for a reason. not to change anything of the past...but for how it would proceed on from henceforth.











exams are for the next two weeks. i know i am definitely not sufficiently prepared. but like always, i will try my best to use this exam in preparation for the final IB exams at the end of the year.



i dont feel sad how time flies, but how people fly past time.

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