amour

was just thinking about this not too long ago.
and then now im thinking about it again.

so many questions again. i guess those reading my blog will probably have gotten quite tired about my lamentings. but i guess if it helps me think my thoughts out better i'll just write everything down.

at this age, 17...what does one expect out of a relationship? how do we draw the line between mutual friends, gd friends, and more-than-just-friends (mtjf)? and even if its mtjf...how sure are we that it is mtjf and not just being gd friends? after all, we're only a quarter of our way towards the end and we only know and experienced so much...there's still a world out there.

i guess then we only know when you're in it when you're in it. if you never liked some1 b4...then you'll have to find out yourself...you cant read it up frm a textbook or let some1 tell you...coz it varies frm person to person, differ experience from experience...if you never loved, then you'll never know what love is. i guess that's why it is so hard to define what love or like really is. because love is complicated, human-relations (even btween friends) is complicated.

and since humans too are complicated, i guess it is left to the individual to decide how complicated the love really is. or how a relationship should be.

how should relationships be? what is mtjf, what is just being a friend. sometimes 1 party think he's just being a friend by talking to that some1...but what if that some1's definition of mtjf is that person's idea of just being a friend...then they have to sort it out. things will get a little weird initially...but...i guess in the long run...things will settle themselves out. a true friend wont forsake friendship for mtjf relationship...

haha...there's also this problems that some people encounter...like how sometimes you see all the world around you getting paired off and you're one of few left...don't feel left out. i guess like they always say...these things will come in time...maybe not this year or the next...but your time will come. and then you'll know and be glad you didnt start anything at this age. and sometimes, you're not looking in the right places...or maybe...your expectations do not go places where you wouldnt look at. its not that you're being left out...its just that you are looking out for other stuff.
hehe. but anyway...we all still have gd friends...friends that you can spend time with.

and yup. starting relationships at this age: haha i've heard of success stories when puppy love manifests into something that lasts forever into marriage. but i've also heard of stories when the same happens, but develops into something called exposure-crisis. i guess if you spend too long with that person and you havnt tried others...there's always that chance that curiosity get the better of you...these sort of relationships may end up going through tough times because: simply put...the two involved in such a relationship that started since young have not had any others before. so you'd never know how is it like being with some1 else. and its also because of this that some other relationships flourish...simply because the previous relationships havnt been that successful or a flaw found in some1 before isnt there with the person he/she is with right now. so start now or later? haha its up to you. experience is always good...but people must understand that relationships are not as simple as we like to think they are. human emotions are important part of it. and if you do care so much about some1...and you know that in the end hurt and pain will come...then why bother?

and in relationship i think one of the most important thing is expectations. what do you expect of your partner? in this aspect every1 should be very honest with each other. that's because if expectations are not fulfilled or expectations seem more on one side than the other...then a relationship will not work out. expectations are like: simple things like [remember special dates, how often going out together] to like more complicated stuff like [the intensity of the relationship, how much care should one offer etc.] expectations...are as important as the trust between 2 as well. yup. haha but of course some people prefer mystery...to see how far his/her partner would go to show liking and care for him/her. why bother spelling out everything but rather leave it open and mysterious?


hmm i think im going round in circles again...like i always do. but i do hope i did make some sense. my star[taurus] yesterday said: 'You're one who always sees all the sides to the equation in any situation and problem. But you must be firm with what ever decision you make to see it follow through'. i guess this is very true of myself.


what i am:
i always appear humble, politically correct, sometimes not so confident of myself. that's because im bringing my level down to you...so that you'll feel comfortable talking to me. but that is not me. im deeper and darker than you think. i am firm, sometimes too confident of myself and proud. but this is my inner-self...on the outside i can appear easy-going and easy to manipulate. but i will tell you...i'm very aware of the things around me...so do not think im stupid for one moment. what you do unto me today i will return with a vengeance in the future. careful.