My associations with Music

Recently, I've been thinking quite a bit about how much I'd love to be in the music entertainment industry, specifically as an artist - a singer, a dancer or both. I think that I'm quite an expressive person and I sometimes do prefer to convey my emotions and thoughts through song, facial expressions, body and hand movements. There are also a lot of times when I feel like bursting out into song, or doing a whacky dance move in the middle of the library or on a pedestrian walkway.

To me, it's just another manner of expressing myself, and I'd want to be free to choose whichever way I wish to do so. I doubt that I have really done any of those crazy stuff in front of the public before, except occasionally humming or singing softly as I walk. Take away all the glamorous stuff about the entertainment industry, factor in all the hard work, discipline and training - I think I still would want in. The only thing that keeps me away from pursuing something that could be my dream (I wouldn't say that it has always been my dream) is the fear of the unknown - the fear of failure (hey cliche but true).

In my opinion, I've always been fortunate enough to be closely associated with music:

• I started attending Yamaha Music School since I was 2, with my mother by my side.
• I had private piano tutoring when I was about 5/6.
  
• I completed the Grade 8 Practical Piano Exam with ABRSM.
• I was selected to be part of the Music Elective Scholarship Program when I was 13 (Secondary One).
• I picked up the guitar during then, and joined the school's Guitar Orchestra for 4 years.
• I signed up for dance classes (hip-hop and popping) when I was 17, stopped when I was 18.
  
• I picked up vocal classes with a performing arts school when I was 18, attending whenever i had the time.
  
• I performed 2 short songs for a concert organized by the performing arts school.
• I've also somehow managed to end up on a stage performing at 2 bars, once in Shanghai, and once at Cuscaden@Chijmes (Singapore), singing 2 full songs.

They say that even if you love music, you don't necessary have to be a singer or a dancer. In the entertainment industry, there are so many options available. So even if you pursue music performing as a career and you realize that you can't 'cut it out', there are still so many options available. But I haven't gotten the proper visualizations of me doing something else within the entertainment industry. I don't know how it will be like, and I don't think I'd like it as much as being a performer on stage. Really not for the glam, but for the full endorsement of my inner emotions outwardly displayed for all to see. So if I can't 'cut it out' as a music performer, if I've failed at trying to be one, what do I want to fall back on?

Of course I haven't given those other options a shot yet ('how would I know that I wouldn't like it if I haven't tried it out yet right'), but that's also because I've always pursued a somewhat safe path throughout my education. And by being safe, I've ended up pursuing my other safer interests - in the banking industry, the business/corporate world. To me, I've been able to find areas of those industries where my strengths and interests lie, minus music. To me, I'd probably be alright, or in fact, happy to do the jobs that I envision myself doing, minus music. And it sounds and feels safe, financially and it's what most other people are doing anyway. In exploring all those various options within the corporate world, I haven't had the chance to explore other options, like those in the entertainment industry.

I bet that there are various functions within the corporate world that overlap with those in the music industry. In these overlaps, there are also probably functions that would allow me to leverage on my strengths and interests. But right now, at this point in my life, I'd say that either I get myself a sweet spot in the corporate world where I love my job, or I get a sweet spot in the entertainment world - which is to be a performer and love my job.

But seeing as how things are going and with the increasing visualization (whether biased due to the current environment that I'm exposed to) of me doing well in the corporate world, I'll probably end up relinquishing my aspirations of being a music performer.


It won't be all bleak and gloomy though - I can always still pursue music as a hobby - indulging myself whenever I have the time and space - and KTV!