Friday, January 11, 2008

updated: life after and before

got what i predicted i would get! haha. 35+2=37!

it isnt suppose to be a bad score. but compared with the rest of the cohort...ah. not so gd.

i lived up to my well as my parent's expectations. for me, that's good enough already.

i guess i didnt work hard enough for the exams...just lost steam halfway...somehow...i just didnt feel like studying anymore. they always say 'burn out burn out'. but i never really believed such things. but i think i was - burnt out...somehow...really no mood, no drive to study. didnt really sleep properly for the longest of months...played quite abit b4 the exams too.

so 37. i'll apply for SMU and NUS and see how. hopefully i'll get a place + the course i want. most probably law/business/finance programs.

see there are always two sides to everything, some times more. some would feel that the project was a success...that it fulfilled the wants and wishes of the products of our organization - and it was mostly inclusive...rather than the usual popular appearances in every section. it's layout/design was rather decent actually...thanks to our wonderful and hardworking design manager. unfortunately...there would always be the critics, and not everything can always be perfect. they should take into account that:

firstly, it wasnt an easy project to embark on. we didnt not have a standardized format to proceed with, neither did we have the appropriate resources or contacts for an easier assignment. other divisions within the organization have manpower...and an established system.

we didnt.

secondly, being multi-talented, most of our people had massive loads to burden ourselves with, on top of the examination that was to follow soon after. everything was a rush and the project was also completed rather hurridly. because of that we couldnt recheck the nitty gritty details, and hence...the fault - of over looking certain details that should have been omitted.

i would say fault lies in over-ambition...and over-estimation. mine fault lies there too. it was a difficult process and perhaps i wasnt the one who could have lived up to expectations.

in any case. its over. i would accept all responsibilities for the project's failure. or success if prescribed. all i want is for it to be over. ended. out of the way. a hurdle like not something i want to live with anymore.

haha. anyway. if you're reading this. hope you understand what im talking about. im just rather upset that it's still harassing me even after i ended my contract with the organization.

i am complicated. but so are you.
if only...