Sunday, July 30, 2006

i realised that...

the more people i know, the less of people i know

is this not true?

Monday, July 24, 2006

meaning of love


'What is the meaning of Love?' -Wikepedia

What is Love: what forms of love are there? (narrow it down)
State my definition of love.

Say that it is hard to define the exact meaning of love:

Love is a very strong feeling of affection. Love cannot easily be described for it is a mix of emotions, people can love and be loved in different ways. Love is a different feeling for many people; different people can feel or experience love in different ways. As a result it is something that is hard to define.

There are many forms of love: self-love, divine love, love for another person (family member, friend, lover), just to name a few. In fact, love does not even have to involve people; for example, love can exist in regard to an object or idea. Psychology divides love into three basic catergories: brotherly love, romantic love, and physical love. Theoretically, having all three makes true love.

The basis for all love is respect, esteem, and admiration. Respect must be present in order for love to germinate and grow. One cannot love someone or something one disrespects, hates, or loathes.

Everyone thinks of love in many different ways. Some people believe in love at first sight, while others believe in a love that takes time to grow and become great. It has the power to drive one to greater actions, sometimes crazy actions. It is thought to be the best and highest of all emotions, possibly even the greatest purpose in life.

Many feel love is the feeling of being connected to someone, or something in the sense that you feel you couldn't live without them/it. The feeling of knowing that that certain person/thing is very important to you.

Love can be well described as chemical chaos, although romantic love is seen to fit this decription the best. Brotherly love, the love for family and people close to one is an innate feeling.
a few 4-8 year-old kids' take on love!
If you are looking for love, would you recognize it if you found it? Can you tell the difference between love and infatuation? Between love and attraction? Between love and sexual desire? Between love and friendship? Between sex and intimacy? Between a good relationship and one that is only pleasurable?

  • Emotions --how we feel about each other
  • Ethics --how good or bad we are for each other
  • Joys --how much we satisfy or dissatisfy each other
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Sexual passion.
Sexual intercourse.
A love affair.

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.

A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.

SYNONYMS love, affection, devotion, fondness, infatuation. These nouns denote feelings of warm personal attachment or strong attraction to another person. Love is the most intense: marrying for love. Affection is a less ardent and more unvarying feeling of tender regard: parental affection. Devotion is earnest, affectionate dedication and implies selflessness: teachers admired for their devotion to children. Fondness is strong liking or affection: a fondness for small animals. Infatuation is foolish or extravagant attraction, often of short duration: lovers blinded to their differences by their mutual infatuation.

Devil's Dictionary

A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

life - someone or something for which you would give your life.
care - someone or something about which you care more than yourself.
friendship - favoured interpersonal associations or relationships.
union - a synergistic connection, as in the perfect union of two souls.
family - people related via common ancestry, religion, or race, etc.

Courtly love – a late medieval conventionalized code prescribing certain conduct and emotions for ladies and their lovers.
Erotic love – desire characterized by a focus on sexual desires.
Familial love – affection brokered through kinship connections, intertwined with concepts of attachment and bonding.
Free love – sexual relations according to choice and unrestricted by marriage.
Platonic love – a close relationship in which sexual desire is nonexistent or has been suppressed or sublimated.
Puppy love – romantic affection felt between or as though between adolescents.
Religious love – devotion to one’s deity or theology.
Romantic love – affection characterized by a mix of emotional and sexual desire.
Unrequited love – affection and desire not reciprocated or returned.


Sunday, July 23, 2006

sorry pa...

yesterday i bought my new shoe
if anybody has noticed, my shoe has been baring a huge hole in the right one for like 2 mnths...

went suntec addidas shop to get it
model: chiba Pro

thing is...there's always a struggle for myself and my dad when we're buying stuff
the price of the shoe: $129
its so expensive...yet i couldn't find any other cheaper alternative, because that looked the nicest in the shop...
my dad always explained it to me that we're still students and we shouldn't spend so much money on branded stuff...the basic purpose is what we need...

and i did...i tried, i walked around looked at the shoes at Royal Sporting House, Why Pay More? and Nike store...
i kept looking for shoes under a $100...actually i found one that was katana, nike, at WPM?

i stared at it for 10 mins really thinking and thinking about what pa always was gd enuf to be a shoe, a gd running shoe, and reasonable design, and i really didnt want my dad to spend too much on me...but i still went on to get the addidas one in the end

you know...eventually 3 of us ended up at the addidas store: my brother, my dad, and i...sitting down at the cushion trying on the shoes.
my brother and i already chose a pair each, and my dad was trying on another one...and it really did look very nice...but in the end...he smiled and said he was joking and he didnt want it...the total price would have been $300++ for the shoes...

yesterday i saw my dad sitting at the massage chair at Carrefour...leaning back relaxing...really looking older than i've always thought...all those years travelling, going for work, and still having time for all of us in the family...and... all the hard work and stress put in just to give us a good life...and i really felt bad

bad for not doing well
bad for not being able to choose the cheaper shoe
bad for not being a good son, always have debates and arguments about stuff
bad for always talking back to him
bad for not spending enough time with him

i'm really sorry pa...
i dont know what i am doing

you know its really funny...
i dunno, i've always tried to spend time with my parents, like have one-one conversations every now and again...and sometimes my dad and i would go on morning runs and will just share about our lives and what's been happening...
and i've always made it so that we have dinner together as much as we can...

but the best part about my father-son relationship is when we have arguments and quarrels, that's when we really talk a lot about virtues, life, and basic stuff...that's when we really have a fulfilling chat, especially after the heat, there's always calm moments when father and son really talk things out...
but it still pains me a lot, that i always have to fight my way, like say things to defend myself...and see my dad get more and more worked up...i never seem to be able to give in, to just give in to him and not try and be correct...


you know
it's always a struggle for me
to know what's right and what's wrong,
and always find myself in situations where what's right is right and what's wrong is right get what i mean? it's really a matter of perspective that something is right or wrong...and i'm always one who knows of both ways of looking at things, and struggling to make the decision to take which sides...i wish i were like most people, just having a restricted way of looking at things and not being able to see the other side, then i wouldnt have to struggle so much...


and there's one more thing i would have said if i had time and heart to do it...
council. yup. nxt post then.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


'There are many ways to love someone. Sometimes we want to love so much, we're not too choosy about who we love. Other times we make love such a pure and noble thing, no poor human can ever meet our vision. But for the most part, love is a recognition, an opportunity to say 'there is something about you i cherish'..."

A Quote taken from Magician by Raymond Feist

just completed the book, interesting read.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

the boy

the following is a previous post from my previous blog...

i agree that it was his own fault that caused him to be the boy he is today but it was not entirely his fault... there were others who made, moulded him into a hard shell that he lives in nowadays it probably began when people started calling him fat then people probably disturbed him of his pimples i say probably because i wasn't in his class until 3.11... the problem is that majority of the people in that class began to mock at him too and the BIGGEST MISTAKE that he made was that he accepted it...yes, i betcha he did and so his EGO (which wasn't even there in the first place) was diminished even smaller he began to call himself fat, laugh together with those that mocked at him thus his shell builds, that little hard shell began to thicken... he would give those mocking people the look that makes everyone hate him even more whose fault is it now?

...i shouldn't think it is his, perhaps not even those classmates in sec1, 2, 3...society perhaps?...must we reject such a person immediately, so quickly?...4 years is long, yes...but with each year comes new classmates...and they add bricks and cement to that shell, that barrier, that wall that blocks him from the freedom, however little of it, and prevents him from enjoying life

he once told me that his life, the only way he could live was through the computer... i remembered once that his computer crashed and he was indeed depressed people who live through this mirror, this window are those that are lonely, that feel inferior once they show up in their true state, true form...behind the computer he can start anew, somebody who does not have people having fixed viewsof him, people that do not know him, people that can give him chances, chances that his old classmates would never give him...i pity shouldn't be like, not like this that was in we are all sec4...

students still dislike him, they hate him... they tremble at the thought of sitting next to him, standing behind him they mock at him like the days of old... and he laughs, trying to be part of them, but he does not understand... he would never be like the rest until the rest decide to give him a chance we gave him a lot of chances

.... we would be nice, he would be nice...but he would do something stupid, something different... and the problem, the hating, the insults would be hurled at him again, each time more powerful than the next... his shell is closing give him another chance is impossible... because everybody already has that fixed view of is hard to change this fact... i am his friend, one of his few friends...but i am a pitying friend...he does not have many friends unless u call those internet 'friends' his real friends...

i don't want to pity him...i want to love him as my brother, a classmate, a friend...i want him to fit in...i dont' want to see him suffer anymore...i don't want to be a pitying friend... we must change as a class...he must change, but we must change, and accept him...he is just different...but one or two person will not make a difference...

because i confess that i laughed at him together as a class before...not because i found the mocking funny, but rather to gain acceptance of those friends that mocked at him...they are my friends...they might make fun of me, dislike me, hate me for siding with the 'outsider' why do they make my life so difficult? isn't this like faith? in God...sometimes we dare not declare ourselves Christians openly in front of non-christian friends...we do not declare ourselves like we do at church...we might face rejection, taunts...we are afraid to be in the same position as this boy...we must stand up, fight for what is right...fight for what we believe advise to this boy...fight smart, fight with your own self-belief...i believe u can do matter how hard the road is ahead of u, change, shape yourself, have faith...u will make it... recognition of The Boy in my class...

yup. thot i'd resurface this post...seems to be still so relevant, sadly.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

after exams

this is what i did today after exams

i went to kAp

bought a hashbrown and coke
talked for a bit, observing interesting people

left to watch superman2

i found it quite nice! but was also thinking...i think ppl would say that it isnt gd. but you see, this is what i noticed: for the past few movies, ppl have been saying that the movie [x3, davinci etc.) 'sucked' or like 'dam boring'. so i ask you...if like that, what movie is nice? i mean, if ppl are going to be so overly critical then what's the point? dont watch then!

and i think that for each movie, its the plot that counts, and even if the plot isnt as complete as it seems, i still think its great. why spoil your movie and your day by saying that you wasted your time and it was bad movie? you are the one that is spoiling you own day by telling yourself that you've wasted time. rather, i think just watch la...anyway different movies different things ma...haha

oh ya

then after that
i went to play lan

won a few, lost a few
most memorable of games ever that i've play
i tell you:

i played showtime.werra, former WCG 2v2 champion and he plays solo 1v1 regularly.

game description:
map: lost temple

JiT)YEW begins with a Priestess of the Moon(potm) and Showtime.werra decides to get a Demon Hunter(dh).
DH runs to Yew's base and harrasses the potm with little success, Yew fully utilising his Ancients as defence. dh runs to centre to heal only to be creep-jacked (cj) by the potm. eventually a few of Yew's hunts arrive at the centre and dh backs off completely to creep his expo. Yew with 3 hunts begins creeping the middle and sadly loses 3 hunts.

however, he successful surrounds Showtime's keeper of the grove as it comes out from the altar with 4 hunts and his hero. showtime denies the xP by killing his own keeper! Yew discovers that Showtime teched and carries on rushing for 15 mins, hardly losing any hunts with Showtime losing his dh and keeper to Yew's brilliant surrounds.

At this point, Yew's hunt ran to check Showtime's expo and finds a completely built up expo with protectors. Yew continues his rush, killing off 2 lores, 1 wind and 1 war with Showtime strategically defending his base from within. Yew is forced to tp to reduce losses of low hp hunts.

rushing again, Yew takes off most of Showtime's archers and dryads including his dh. potm grows to level 6. Showtime's keeper sneakily led Yew's army away as a distraction as he rebuilds his army.

Not falling for the trick 2 times, Yew rushes back to Showtime's base to find 2 giants and 12 dryads waiting. in panic, Yew tps back, losing most of his hunts


i lost like that...coz he led me away for a while...and had an early expo.
i hate expos and i usually go all out to check for one. just today i JUST didnt have a wisp there like i usually do...and i didnt run there to check after he disappears for a while...sigh...too much pressure playing with showtime today...guess i screwed up.

oh wells. tough game. will always remember my loss, the one i nearly won showtime.werra. werra, you reading this? you beat a noob today...=/


what a day...