Friday, February 20, 2009

A Jit's Life

its really strange how i just have no mood to blog these days...
or maybe its not that i have no mood...perhaps i've decided to stop being honest with myself
or maybe im just reluctant to share everything that has been going through my mind these days
or maybe im just unable to express my feelings in words since my vocab is somehow shrinking at an alarming rate.
or maybe im just lazy, like we've discussed before. ZzzZzzZzz

this is NOT GOOD.

anyway...there's still like 11 mnths before i complete my NS...actually close to 10 mnths left now that feb's 20 days past. i believe what im gonna do over this period of well as after-NS-before-uni time will determine, to a certain extent, the direction for which my life will take its course. SO IT IS IMPORTANT. IMPERATIVE that i get my act together.

i have a confession to make. im tired of play dota games. im tired of entering a game trying to take control of the game by myself due to really astonishingly incapable incompetent teammates (80% of the time i end up having to do this 1 versus 5 thing). im tired of starting a game knowing that im probably gonna lose...and that EVEN if i win (after fighting mostly 1v5 battles) the opponent HOST will just DISCONNECT me and end up having a game recorded WIN in his favour and LOSE in my records (so many cheaters out there). im also tired of competitive farming (earning gold in dota terms) - and i hate the stress.

slowly, im growing weary of the number of times i report to bukit timah IRC for our regular lan sessions and having less than enough people to play (7 people, 3v4; 5 people, trying to find 5 friends who would probably get thrashed quite badly by us - and we'll all end up killstealing (KS) from each other). for the lack of people i have to blame NS. in any case...i like hanging out with the bunch of them. but i just wish that we could do something more meaningful...or at least something a little different...

but i still play.

and so i have to get on with my driving. i've only registered myself with the driving centre at BBDC...but i havnt gone for the introductory talk...neither have i registered for my BTT...really really slow in doing anything BAH.

perhaps china. but i gotta take some lessons to prepare for HSK. that will be a challenge. to sign up for the lessons. and to take the test. and then the difficulty of studying in chinese. =/ i might just end up staying in singapore and doing smubiz. but i think i'll give it a try and see how. we'll see

applying for scholarships/uni is like some daunting task. personal statements which i havnt a clue how to do (just lazy to check i bet -.-)...what i believe in...what are my goals...why this scholarship...why that university...most of my application forms are half completed. name, nric, ib score...and then blank blank...SOME i did fill up...but point form, or incomplete. i need to be serious!

i think...i need a competitor.

in any case...the above post is like...a FEW issues that i have been thinking about...but there's still so many others that...(refer to the start of this post for reasons)...and i end up not typing out any here.