change

~

from an entity that began with nothing...it became filled with happiness
that i took for granted...that i learnt was not my right but a privilege
from a strange confusion...it became a light that brightened the day
that gave me that courage to walk into school each day...knowing that someone there who would stick by me
from a simple remark and then laughter...it grew into trust
that i doubted sometimes...that i would learn to regret
from a tear drop and sorrows shared....it bred understanding
that i didnt know to cherish till now...does it still exist

yet

from blue it turns to grey
where pages fade, where photos capture a past that doesnt pity the present
from hope it dissolves into naive thoughts
where i would still wish to go back in time to undo all that has been done
from frankness it becomes rhymes and riddles
where understanding is no longer a common theme
from struggling quarrels and disagreements, silence
where i would find myself constantly uncomfortable, frightful
from dreams it blurs to shadows
where memories become a recurring monochrome
from promises it shatters to dust
where i would kick up, so that i could see the trails of emotions i left behind

left with

no more a possibility than it could have been
no more a tear drop than what has already been shed
no more a confident smile than wistful expressions that mark the face
no more a chapter than how stories could have contained

~




somehow...i still miss
you that have shared precious times with me,
moments where i would never seem to forget
you that has been in my life...even for a short while,
how we used to find comfort in each other...

im glad we met
im glad we had our time
im glad we loved before...in the same way that both of us knew deep down





another time.

so it has happened. life goes on, time passes. things change.
not like how i wanted it to - but we cant help it, can we?
i still struggle, sometimes, even with the knowledge that we cannot help it, about how
things have changed - permanently - that time cannot be reversed. that we cannot undo what has been done.
to come to terms with these, would probably take me more time than what has passed
it still hurts, somehow. after so long. i wish it didnt. did you really mean that much? maybe im just stubborn

somewhere within him. something's trapped...something that he constantly try to break out from. he calls it a mental enclosure - something that limits his emotions , something that tangles his actions and words into a knot. he yearns to break free. it's an immense struggle within. even with his daily speech, thoughts, he constantly face a blank empty wall. it's seldom now...but it still happens. suddenly words become a difficulty - stumble, mumble, fumble. thoughts become a blur, slurs over. help.